When are we really interviewing?

I am one of those extremely lucky men who has the good fortune to get critiqued by my wife on a daily basis. I am not the only one, you know who you are out there if you're like me, or better still…like my wife. Yes, on a daily basis as I am having what I believe might be a conversation about dinner at the Jones' the night before, or the upcoming Scout meetings for the boys – I am being covertly scrutinized from head to toe about everything from the length of my hair or nails, my weight loss progress, how up to date or clean my pants, or shirt, or underwear, or socks are, or how polished my shoes are. Okay, that's not entirely true; it really isn't all that covert.

Every morning my spouse is kind enough to give me an unfiltered review on my appearance. Filtered would be more like, "That's not what you're wearing is it?" I get more of the "You are not wearing that…period" And here's the interesting part – what she knows instinctively, having not ever been in this industry, is that the second I walk out the door on any given day…I am being interviewed.

Every interaction I have with other people is another opportunity for me to present myself as a professional, personable, intelligent, creative, genuine, modest, confident, successful individual. Whether I am looking for candidates or looking for a job, the way I present myself is a reflection on how I think of myself and how I want to be perceived by others. The perception of other is something we need to do our best to control.

I can feel your eyes rolling. I was even once told by a peer in the workplace that we needed to change the perception that the director had of a given project. Ugh! I replied that we could change reality, but we could not necessarily change another person's perception, that was something they'd need to do on their own. But by changing reality, or in the case of personal presentation, by controlling that reality at a micro-management level – we get in front of people's perception generators and control the input. In order to do that we need to get into the mindset that we are ALWAYS interviewing. Whether it is with other parents when dropping off the kids at school, at the grocery store, at the barber or at the salon, or the drycleaners, and don't even ask me about the impromptu nearly-naked interview in the locker room at the gym. Ugh again!

This idea that one is always interviewing goes well beyond your appearance (even though that is a big part of anyone else's first impression). We need to act and interact correctly, we need to smell right (non-offensive/clean), our body language needs to be right (open, warm, pleasant, engaging) and we have to say and do the right things (listen, laugh, empathize, listen more, reply, assess, share, keep listening, ponder, muse, repeat).

So my wife is kind enough to give me her opinion and some much needed direction on a regular basis. I am not saying that I am an unreflective dolt who does not know how to groom himself or dress himself, in fact I am usually about 15 minutes ahead of her, but since I keep my self-critique in my head (I look in the mirror and think, "hmm, gonna need a haircut soon") she verbalizes it shortly thereafter, "Get your haircut today…and be sure to cut your nails." Yeah, I knew it was coming, but just kept it in my head. Thanks honey!

What she has taught me to consider, yes she is actually a teacher by trade, is that there are a few questions you can easily ask yourself every day that will help prepare you for the day ahead.

If you were meeting yourself for the first time today:
Would you hire you?
Would you want to work for you?
Would you want to work alongside you?
Would you want to buy something from you?
Would you want to sell something to you?
Would you take yourself seriously (wearing that)?
Would you want to get to know you better?

Asking and answering these questions for yourself will help you put your best foot forward as you emerge each day to face the world.

Before I close here I gotta share a story with you on how right my wife really is (and I know she is not the only one folks). Years ago when I was working with a youth group one of the really smart kids stopped by the house on the day of a big dance. We talked about the dance and how excited he was. My wife entered the room and in 2 seconds she assessed and commented, "You're not wearing those sneakers to the dance." She told him. He had planned on wearing his regular day-to-day sneakers to the dance. He had new pants, a new shirt, cleaned the car, gotten cologne, etc. But being a teenage boy normally dependent on his mother to get him footwear, he did not get new shoes. My wife continued, "It's all about the shoes kid. Nice shoes means a lot to a girl. If you are looking to be successful tonight at the dance you gotta get new shoes." He didn't for that dance. But what he later relayed to us is that after hearing her opinion he decided to watch how the girls at the dance that evening interacted with the guys. You know what? He saw that at least 90% of the girls (by his count) checked out the guys shoes within the first 2 seconds. He was sold and bought new shoes before the next dance.

Seven years later we were attending his wedding with friends and family numbering over 200. Shortly after the reception started he very deliberately wove his way through the crowd and approached my wife and me with his new bride in tow. "I've been dying to share this with you both for the longest time" he said excitedly. Turning to his new wife he said, "Honey, on the day we met, when I approached you awkwardly with some lame line in trying to get you interested in talking to me, why did you even bother to give me a chance?" You know what she said without me having to write it here, so this is for the guys like me. She replied with a smile, "It was the shoes."

My point? I just want to make sure that you know that I know just how lucky I am to have the critic so close at hand on a daily basis. Someone who is so in tune with how well I can fit into the styles of the day. Someone who can listen to me snoring next to her for hours on end night after night and still have the wisdom and courage to help me understand how to put my best foot forward when I go out into the world every single day.

I’m sorry; you’re just interviewing me wrong

Years ago I had an interesting interview experience. It was very early in my career and the guy who was going to hire me asked, "What's two plus two?"

I hesitated, but only for a millisecond trying in that brief moment to figure out why he had asked. Then, almost in a 'what kind of idiot do you think I am' tone I replied "Four". Since he did not respond or nod right away I added, "Unless this is the kind of place where if you say it's five, then it's five. Or if the customer says it's five then it's five – but I have to tell you, even if you say it's five – I'm the kind of guy who will work with five but I'll probably still let you know I think it's four."

I got the job, but that answer was not the reason why. In fact about 2 years later the same guy (my boss) asked me to interview new applicants for a position and he handed me his file of interview notes for the past few years. I found his notes on my interview and in particular found the notes on that question. His notes "Answered decisively – then went way too deep."

While I did get the job and one might argue that it was a really great question to ask with layers most people don't ever really think of. He was actually just asking the question to test my reflexes. To his credit, the position I was going for at the time was very junior and with a very shallow resume that was not relevant to the job at all, so it worked in this situation. But that won't fly in every interview with every candidate.

There have been some wonderful discussions lately in the blogosphere and the twitterverse about the candidate experience and how many companies have walked away from caring about that. This is a problem that runs through the online application process, the lack of feedback to inquiries about jobs or submitted resumes, and even through the interview process. It truly does not serve anyone well to have an interview completely tank. The interview, above all else, is where the company can make or break a new customer or an evangelist about what they do, who they are what they sell, etc.

Unfortunately there are many 'interviewers' out there who either take behavioral interview or active listening techniques so literally that they miss the entire point of the interview. Or they wind up evaluating on what is quite frankly illegitimate criteria.

I have been asked countless times in an interview, "Tell me how you got to where you are today?" They ask this as they are holding and reviewing my resume for presumably the first time. As much as my instincts scream for me to say, "I woke up, showered, got dressed, got in the car, got gas (uh – in the car), decided against the candy bar while I was waiting for the car to fill up, missed your turn off about 2 times and eventually was shown through that very door right there by you" I don't. Instead I go into a much less fascinating tale about my career history. However, about 5-10 seconds into my history I can see that the interviewer has lost interest, focus, or is just letting me babble while they now finally get the time to review the resume. This is not unlike when a Radio Station DJ puts on a 4 minute song so they can go to the bathroom but they take too long and you are left listening to dead air. It's just wrong.

In fact, while Behavioral, Stress, Technical, Active Listening, STAR, DMAIC, and all other theories and processes of interviewing candidates all have some level of merit in some way in some situations for some people – there is an inherent flaw in following any of those processes to the letter to get a good result out of an interview.

Even in an economy where the supply seems to well exceed the demand and where cynicism runs rampant among those who have the jobs and are interviewing those that do not, and where companies are looking harder at ways to disqualify people than to qualify them there is still a great truth that gets overlooked time and again. The interview is a two way street.

I have interviewed with people who behave like they are standing high atop a castle wall shouting questions down at me in a booming voice, "Who dares disturb the Keep of those that are lucky enough to work here?" and I am supposed shout back as loud as I can, "Tis I, the guy who worked at company A, then B, then C, then …you don't really care about all that do you?" And all of a sudden I am in a Monty Python sketch.

Here is my advice to the interviewer on how to properly conduct an interview.

Step 1. Take the first few minutes to get to know the candidate and find some way to connect. This will put them more at ease and get you more honest and thoughtful responses. Perhaps you know people who live near where they live or grew up; perhaps you have friends who went to school where they went to school, or anything that has less to do with work and more to do with life.

Step 2. Discuss the opportunity (don't run at the mouth or take too long to go over it since the candidate has presumably read the job description hence them finding their way to the chair across from you) and make sure the candidate has some understanding of what you are looking for. Then ask them to tell you how they might perform the job, what is their vision. It is very important here to avoid interrupting, but do take the time to validate that you understand what they are talking about. DO NOT tell them things like, "you won't be able to do that here" or "we're not set up for that". This messes with their energy and enthusiasm and does not help you in how you and your company is being interviewed by them. I mentioned in an earlier post that it is important that the candidate has vision even if it is not YET aligned with yours. This remains true.

Step 3. As they talk about what they would do they'll ask questions, be prepared to answer them, and don't be cagey. When you give up a little info it goes a long way to build trust and that trust will enhance the interview process immensely.

Step 4. Use the dialogue to take you to places you feel the interview needs to go. Between the time the interview was scheduled and the time it takes place the candidate gives a lot of thought to what they want to say, make sure you help them get to the right place to share those thoughts. Interviews often end with the standard, "What else can I tell you?" or "Do you have any questions for me?" or "here is my card, call me anytime with questions" While these are tried and true techniques to get to the end of the interview they often come across as insincere. So instead try, "Did we get to go over everything you had thought about before coming in?" or "Can I call you if I think of something else I wanted to ask you or talk about?" This simple twist may actually solicit some very important info that will help you make a decision about the next step. It will also make sure that, no matter how poorly the interview went, the candidate will likely have nice things to say about you and the company. Not that you need the validation, but it is better than having them badmouth the company based on their 45 minutes in a conference room.

Step 5. Follow up. Even as you jot down your notes on the interview (please jot down some notes!) take a moment to send a quick email while you have the resume in hand. A "thanks for coming in; it was a pleasure meeting you." Also goes a really long way in making the candidate experience complete. That experience is really key to the growth and morale of the company overall. Remember that for every job you interview candidates for one of them will get hired. So these steps not only will help you become a better and more effective interviewer, but will also be instrumental in building the morale of the people that enter the company.

Yes, I have more to say about this topic, but I will save it for another post.

If Not Higher

One of my favorite tales is a short story about 100 years old or more called "If Not Higher" by I.L. Peretz. It is a story often paraphrased to demonstrate that the good work that people do often goes unnoticed. I would love to include the story here but it is so much better when told live by an actual storyteller that I can only encourage you, at the very least, to find it on the web and read it before you continue reading here to get the true feel for the story and its power. http://joi.org/celebrate/rosh/higher.shtml

What I can do here though is discuss the meaning of the story. In short – a skeptic comes to find out that the high praise people have for a man doing good work is not high praise enough, thus causing his skepticism to melt away and offer his own praise of the man only now with far greater understanding.

Why I love this story is because we would all like to be the man deserving of praise, yet we all know that we spend so much of our lives being the skeptic. The longer we are skeptical of the world and people around us the harder and harder it is to get it to melt away. And having it melt away is an incredible feeling. Letting that happen means that in some way you are releasing your own inhibitions and allowing yourself to trust or have faith in something or someone else.

As someone who has been and continues to be a skeptic about a great many things and people on a regular basis, I am also someone who historically has let that skepticism melt away all too easily. But lately that has not been the case. And by lately I mean the past couple years. Don't get me wrong, I actually really want to believe in people. Though it has been tough because in the society we are continuously finding ourselves in it is all too easy to lose faith in people. Whether it is their lack of consideration, their selfishness, their smugness, their elitism or their fanaticism they are too busy or self-involved to "do the right thing".

Now who am I to lay down the gauntlet of what the "right thing" to do is? I'm not anybody other than an observer of the human condition like so many of the rest of us. So please feel free to vehemently disagree with me, I need that.

I'll say this – the right thing to do is to actually see and hear and listen to people. We've all heard that most people in a conversation are actually just waiting for their turn to speak rather than listening. We need to be listeners and we need to look for more people to listen to all the time.

It's kind of interesting that as I write this I am thinking about the way technology has integrated into our lives, how many people see it as complicated but all it is trying to replicate what we do as humans. Take the latest craze/wave/innovation of "Cloud Computing" in a nutshell (and let me know if I get this wrong) it is the combination of information one can gather on the internet through multiple sources to create a comprehensive idea or program or application or sales lead or whatever. It is understanding that all the data from all these different companies is on the web (in the cloud) and you can use other web-based applications to pull data from all of them as it corresponds or correlates to the idea or project that you are working on. Simpler. Cloud Computing is like having your own personal Jeopardy Champion in the room with you. The champ has info on everything so if the category is mid-century stamp collecting you are going to be able to pull info on collecting, postal service, stamps and stamp subject matter, the 1950's and 60's, etc. That's the cloud.

Another tech innovation a few years ago was the Network of Workstations or also called NOW. This was a predecessor to the cloud idea in that you would use many brains to create a super-brain. The techno equivalent of 2 or more heads are better than one (without the egos).

So that's what we need to do as people and I believe that using technology to do it is very helpful, but we just can't let it get us away from connecting with people as people. All too often we are now only connecting to people as profiles.

Another crazy example. I worked at a large company and had my office on the top floor of the building. When II chose to take the elevator there might be a few other people in the elevator with me that I didn't know (it was a big company) if I did not know them we would rarely speak for the entire elevator ride. Why? I am guessing that we assumed the other person was too busy to chat, or the ride would be too short to have a conversation, or we were too self-absorbed to want to chat, or assumes that of the other person. At work, in the elevator, we were merely profiles of ourselves, not people. Here is where it gets interesting and this actually did happen to me. My wife and I were invited to a dinner party through her work. I knew no one there but as it turned out another spouse who knew no one there either also worked for the company I did. As it turned out we had even shared a silent elevator ride multiple times. Yet we had never spoken. We were inseparable for the entire dinner party. We barely talked about work but we connected on about 10 other levels and both had a great time. We were now people and not profiles.

Of course by now, if you are still reading, you are expecting me to move into the "do the right thing, volunteer, treat people right, invest in your community, blah. Blah, blah" but once again let me try to make this less preachy and more practical.

By truly tuning in to people, by finding out who they are and not being afraid to reach out and get to know them or give them a glimpse of who you really are – you strengthen your own "cloud". Does that sound self-serving enough for today's environment?

Wait a minute - It pays to get to know people and let them get to know you?

Let's go back to the short story "If Not Higher" (have you read it yet?) Does either the man of praise or the skeptic think of the selfish ways their good work or high praise of another will serve them? The skeptic might as in the end of the story he becomes more pious and his believe and faith are strengthened by his observance of the other man's actions. Perhaps he is thinking now that his faith will serve him better and that he can use it to repent for his skepticism and be rewarded in whatever stage of his life comes next. No one would claim that the other man believes he is being served by this in any way. His service is to a higher power by way of the things he does in the story. And he does not serve that higher power for any greater reward than the satisfaction of knowing that he did a good thing, one might argue "the right thing".

So, if we as human beings who share the planet everyday of our lives with over 6 billion other people can find a way to get to know each other as people, can take the time to listen to each other's needs and see what we can do for each other to get those needs met – maybe, just maybe the society we live in can get a little more connected, a little more inspirational, a little less cynical and self-serving. Go ahead - try it. You may find it lifts your spirit to the clouds…if not higher.

I Love it When a Plan Comes Together

Every day that I pick up a newspaper and see those depressing job headlines I ask myself, "Who is this really for?" Is it really breaking news that more people are losing their jobs and that the ranks of the unemployed are increasing beyond previous expectations? We can bucket the readers of these headlines into a few separate groups.

The first group is those that have lost their jobs. With every headline they inch closer and closer to the edge of the bridge wondering, "Just when is there going to be news that does not push me deeper into despair?" This of course does not help decrease those horrible numbers if the level of despair gets to the point where they can not even bring themselves to be presentable enough to get a job if there were one available. So I am willing to believe that that there is a certain level of goodness in the people who publish the paper and that their intention is not to exacerbate the problem. That means that those headlines are not for the people in this bucket.

The next bucket is the people who are still employed and who read that article and thank their lucky stars that it is not they who have increased the statistic. These are the "at least it's not me" folks. But of course they always need to be aware that it would not take all that much for them to wind up as part of those statistics. So the headlines might be for these people if the media is in fact in cahoots with their employers to try to motivate their workers to work harder, do more, be a team player, and shut up about any adverse conditions because the worker should feel lucky that they have a job. But in fact I do not believe that the people who publish the paper have that level of altruism for the employers (though they do try to get ad revenue out of them) so this one is plausible, but not so likely.

Finally, my last bucket is the high corporate muckimucks who have the power to set budgets, determine the vision and strategy, and ultimately decide to hire more personnel. Do they read these headlines and think, "Oh my goodness, we better hire some people fast because the economy is in trouble." While I would love it if that was the case, I know that it is not true. In fact quite the opposite happens. They think, "Hmm, no one else is hiring and other companies are laying people off, this seems like a good time to do that. We'll save money and won't look too evil in the process since everyone is doing it." So here I submit that these headlines, not intending to do that (I hope), are really not for these people either.

So I guess it's just what we've come to accept as news for the sake of news. But if you really think about it, on some level, this makes me think of a scenario where a man jumps off a 150 story building and as he passed every 25 floors someone shouts out the window to him, "you've jumped off the building" or "you're falling" or "you're heading downward" or "you're gonna hit the ground". Do any of those shouting people really think that the man who jumped did not already know all these things? They are in fact really only shouting for the sake of shouting. And while it may make them feel better for doing it, it really doesn't make him feel any better nor is it helpful in any way.

This is the part where I usually go into my rant about what you can do to be helpful. I'm going to skip that for now. You can read an earlier blog entry if you need that vibe right now. Instead I'm going to focus on what might be good to do now so that you can be more helpful later.

In terms of the unemployment situation. Now is the time for companies to not just look for the cost cutting opportunity, but also look for the better plan going forward. How can a company prepare itself for the upturn (please let there be an upturn) if they only focus on how to respond to a downturn. Companies go from cutting costs to spending out of control on a regular basis. Why does this happen? Lack of effective planning. They've cut costs, scaled back programs, removed vendors, slashed requisitions, cut travel budgets, and laid off numerous workers which has all actually created a high degree of darkness in the workplace and the marketplace. So now what? Now they need to start creeping back towards the light a little bit. Little by little they can create the appropriate and scalable infrastructure. They can establish parameters and processes without business partners that will enable us to scale up slowly and reach plateaus along the way that will allow for them to survey the landscape and decide what to do as they move forward.

So here is what I am saying. Take the time now to get the right people in place to plan for the future. Look through the amazingly large pool of candidates carefully and deliberately to find the people who will hit the ground running but will keep your best interests in mind. Find the people who have been out there under their own frugality plan, who understand how to find scalable cost effective and creative solutions on a daily basis. These are the people who are hungriest not to mess up any opportunity they are given. Do your research, your due diligence. Make sure that you are not just engaging someone with a well written resume, or who interviews like a pro (cause they've had a lot of practice and by the way - why is that?), but someone who has really done the work you need done or someone who can bring a new level of creativity to the table. A Real Person is preferable to a stuffed shirt any day and there are a lot of real folks out there. They may not be pretty, or imposing, or have a commanding presence when they first walk into the room, but take a few minutes to get to know the Real Person inside. Having a real person who is willing to get their hands dirty if need be and work hard to prepare tor whatever comes next is a key component of carefully and deliberately planning for success.

How does all of this help our friend from the 150th floor? We Plan carefully. First we create a situation where he has no reason to jump. Then, just in case let's make sure the windows and doors are locked up there so he can't get out. Then just in case he decides to hurl a chair through the window or door to get to the balcony let's give it a high un-climbable fence or something. Then, if he is still so determined to jump let's put out some nets a few floors down to catch him and set off an alarm so someone will go get him before he climbs out and falls down to the next set of nets or something. Now, if he has done all his due diligence and pre-planning and he's read this article and he feels really prepared for his jump, well...Don't waste his time telling him what he already knows on the way down and …congrats to him on his success.

Bottom line? If you can plan effectively during this time and engage the right people to come up with and implement the plan, then you will not be making the same dark and depressing headline garnering decisions everyone else is down the road. You'll be better prepared for disaster and you'll be growing your business when everyone is cutting back.

ACTUAL LEADERSHIP, PART II

Let's suppose that all the planets align correctly and you wake up on the correct side of the bed (most days) and you are becoming an Actual Leader. This is confirmed for you on a regular basis by people who genuinely smile when they see you coming and also smile and thank you when they depart your presence. Some of these people come to you out of the blue to bounce ideas off of you or report progress because they know that you appreciate it and that they are appreciated. You are even taking the time, as tedious as it is, to at least acknowledge emails and even respond to some of them in a timely manner. Your team is improving their performance because you have inspired them to do so. Feel good about yourself, you deserve it – just don't let it go to your head.

Now that you've got this inspiration thing down, now that you are cultivating followers, what is the extent of this new superpower? Given that your team is working smarter, is happier and is producing more - be it programs or widgets, or services. Your new skills are making a difference…..at work. For many of us, that is just enough. We decide to do what we need to and drive ourselves toward increasing our own paycheck and maybe, if we are truly sincere about being Actual Leaders, we try to do all that for the people who work for us and the people that we work for. It's all good, you've got talent, but it's all still….just at work. What about not "just at work"?

In his book, "Outliers", the 21^st Century prolific author on where humanity meets business, Malcolm Gladwell (and that's my take on who he is) talks about what talent truly is. He concludes that talent, no matter how gifted, is all about hard work. What we are motivated (or inspired) to do because we love it, makes us do it a lot, and when we do something a lot (practice music, cook, read, write, play sports) we become really really good at it. In fact, he made popular the assessment in "The Cambridge handbook of expertise and expert performance" that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. Our Normal amount of hours at work in a given year (with an average of 8 holidays and another 2-4 weeks of vacation or sick time off, comes out to less than 2000 hours a year. So even if you were being an Actual Leader that entire time it will still, according to some, take you over 5 years to become an Actual Leadership Expert. But as I said in Part I, we are truly passively Actual Leaders in many other areas of our lives. Where can we get as much practice in as possible so that we can accelerate our rate of expert level acquisition of Actual Leadership?

This is where my discussions on Leadership meet up with my earlier discussion about Karma. When you have embedded Actual Leadership into your character it is time (many would argue that anytime is time) to put those skills to work to make the world a better place.

Yes, I am setting the high and lofty goal of making the world a better place. Many of you have heard numerous tales and anecdotes about how people do something small but it makes a big difference. In one of my earlier entries I relayed the story about the Sea Stars (go back to my earlier post " Raise me up-Don't bring me down!") a case where someone was doing very little, but it was making a big difference to those he was doing it for. We can each take these newfound Actual Leadership skills and do amazing things with them. We can pick a cause that is important to us, and we can inspire people to do the same. We can make followers among the people whose lives we touch every day and we can help them understand and want to work with us to change the world.

I am not talking about starting a movement, nor am I getting on some high horse and trying to preach to you that you need to join me in some crusade. What I am saying here is that you WILL make a difference because it will serve you well. It will make you feel good; it will improve your view of the world and your place in it. It will be wonderful for you because you are practicing your skills; you are using those skills in excess of the minimal amount of hours it takes to gain the expertise. You are embedding it into your DNA so that you may becoome an expert.

There are some folks who, in their respective professions, roles, or offices, finally "got it" as far as Actual Leadership goes and made some game-changing or life-changing choices. One of my favorites in modern times is Warren Buffet (look him up if you want to know more about him). Mr. Buffet, the pre-eminent investor of our time, accumulated a significant amount of wealth. He had a foundation created in his name with every intention of leaving the bulk of his wealth, $44 Billion, to that foundation upon his death and he said as much in a New York Times interview in 1988 when he was a mere 58 years old. Then in 2006, he changed his mind. At the age of 76 and in relatively good health, it seems he decided, "Why wait until I die to be charitable?" Ok, he's been charitable all along, more than any of us could ever dream to be, but noiw he was talking about 85% of his fortune, over $37 Billion. He did not choose to transfer it to his own foundation; instead he decided that most of it would go to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Why? Because he was inspired by the mission and the vision that the Gates Foundation has. He was led there by an Actual Leader, his friend Bill Gates. This donation is one major step for Mr. Buffet in his efforts to become an Actual Leader outside his traditional comfort zone. This guy does not have the kind of experience parting with money that we do. His comfort zone is accumulating. So this is a major effort for him to move from his Actual Leadership role as an investor for profit, towards his new Actual Leadership role as a philanthropist .

We can go closer to the other end of the spectrum and look at the often claimed to be "inspiring" accomplishments of some one like Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimmer who seems to set another world record every time he touches water. Mr. Phelps is nothing short of amazing if not unbelievable. But is he doing the most with his Actual Leadership capabilities? Athletes who inspire other athletes or children to become athletes are definitely embarking down the Path of Actual Leadership. They have drive, interests, and are well able to inspire others. But do they take that to the next level and fold that Actual Leadership into the fabric of who they are as citiizens of the world like the rest of us? Often times they just come so close. For example, before the 2008 Olympic games Phelps' idol, Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe was quoted as saying that it was highly unlikely that Phelps could take home 8 gold medals. While Phelps used that info to inspire him to work harder, Thorpe misses the Actual Leadership opportunity. After Phelps won his eighth medal Thorpe was very congratulatory and proud of the accomplishment. But his public encouragement would have been even more inspiring before the games.

As far as athletes go my endorsement in this regard goes out Athletes for Hope (www.athletesforhope.org) as they are going outside their comfort zone, using the skills they developed as Actual Leaders in their chosen profession and working to make the world a better place.

Now, while you are may not be a high profile investor, nor is it likely that you are a world-class athlete, it is still possible for you to make a difference as an Actual Leader out in the world beyond your comfort zone. That's the karma connection – you get out of something what you put into it, so if you are getting a lot out of something you are obligated to put a lot back in. By doing this you will be able to bring others with you in your endeavors and show them what it means to turn their Actual Leadership into a renewable resource that can help create a sustainable future for everyone.

Summing up this topic here is what I want you to take away. First: Be an Actual Leader, not just a manager. Second, inspire others to do the same and recognize that we can all become Actual Leaders in ways we have not even dreamed of. Third, get out there and practice, practice, practice, so that you can become an expert at Actual Leadership.

Actual Leadership Part I

What is Actual Leadership?

Today I am going to talk to you about Leadership. Not the usual kind of leadership discussion you are used to. Not about bearing the weight of the world, making tough decisions, or hard choices to improve the bottom line. Those are more like leadership duties - and there are truly enough seminars, books, and classes you can take to learn those leadership skills. The kind of leadership I am talking about is more along the lines of what does it take to be a leader, what is actual leadership?

Many of you in this room are confirmed successful business leaders with experience working in a tremendously volatile marketplace and industry, but as leaders go, quite frankly, you're just not doing your job. No offense, but what you do is manage, and choose, and decide, and cut, and spend, and approve, and deny, and get overwhelmed. That's management, that's responsibility, but that's not true leadership.

When we talk about "actual leadership" what are we looking for? Most "Leaders" are no more leaders than the guy who gets on the escalator first. He's not necessarily more qualified than the people behind him, but he walked a little faster to get there first and the people behind him have no choice but to follow him up to the next floor. Many corporations take this approach to finding managers and on some level it makes sense. The person who does the work that makes them stand out, that saves the company money, that chaired the successful project, gets promoted to the management level position. That person has proven their work skills or project management skills but not necessarily their leadership ability. At times this process is no more than a professional version of the playground game "follow the leader", only with a broader set of criteria. Instead of, "Timmy gets to lead for 5 minutes and then it is Sally's turn" we crunch the numbers, weigh the deliverables, evaluate the milestones, and ultimately a decision is made on who gets promoted.

Those kids on the playground are just following in anticipation of getting their own turn to lead, but to be a great leader you need true followers. These true followers are people who WANT to follow the leader because they like the way the leader leads. It is not just about liking the leader as a person; there are plenty of great people who are just not great or even good leaders. But to be liked as a leader there are a few key elements that need to be present along with all of the above criteria already mentioned. One of these, and it I do not apologize that it is my favorite, is the ability to inspire others.

Inspiring someone to do something, to drive towards something, to want what you want is not as hard as you may think. Unfortunately, most people confuse this with motivation. While motivation or motivating someone toward a task is equally important, a person can be motivated without being inspired. And without that inspirational element the work may not be done as well or as soon, or as thoroughly, because the person doing it is motivated by some external force, be it good or bad, but not necessarily because they want to.

So I am telling you that you need to get people to want to do the things you need them to do to be a great leader. If that's all you need to do and so many of you are not doing it then it must be a really hard thing to grasp and a there must be some science or magic potion or formula we can use to make that happen right? Wrong.

Some of things a leader can do to be more inspirational is to be a little more human. We get so bogged down and preoccupied with the weight of our responsibilities that we forget that the people who report to us need to know that we are people just like them and that we KNOW that. So how can we do that in a way that we aren't already? Try having a conversation with an employee that is not about work but about their interests or yours. By sincerely making an effort to understand their interests you can tailor future conversations in a way that may not only motivate but inspire them, because it shows that you are thinking of them and that you may even care about them.

Another very critical element of being more human and being an inspirational leader is to thank people…often. There are in fact too many leaders today who say, "Why do I need to thank people for doing the job they are supposed to do?" I personally love this question and I answer it with this. If you are invited to a wedding you are expected to bring a gift. For that you get free food, sometimes live music and you get to bear witness to a very special, maybe even once in a lifetime, day in the life of a friend or loved one. You are expected to show up and bring a gift. And the bride and/or groom writes a thank you note. Why do they do that if it is expected that you bring a gift? Because it is common courtesy to recognize the gesture or effort or attendance no matter how crappy the gift is. So I argue that offering thanks to an employee is not overly praising them for doing the work they are supposed to be doing, it is a common courtesy. Ultimately, in the hierarchical businesses we live with today, the work the people on the bottom rungs do make the higher rungs look better, and if they work harder, smarter and are happier, then they'll make those higher rungs look even that much better. So take the time to thank someone every day, not because they are doing the work they are supposed to do, but because you appreciate that they remain committed to doing the work.

The next area is "knowledge". Many leaders believe that by giving their workers/employees only enough knowledge to do their job and nothing else that said workers/employees should and will do their jobs well. True enough, but will they perform in a way that beats the competition that embraces innovation and change? Or will they just hunker down and do the job out of fear of losing it? This is where many leaders make mistakes. They believe that the latter is how you keep people focused. That if I can keep all the different parts moving the machine will produce. One part does not have to know what the other part is doing. This is similar to the belief that if someone can drive a car and you give them the keys to do so, they only need to know how to drive and that they do not need to know how the car works. However, since there are so many people and hazards on the roads these days we actually do need to know more than just how to turn the key to make it go. We need to know how to drive in adverse conditions, how to avoid an accident, how to interact with other drivers on the road. None the less, many leaders only want their workers/employees to know just enough to do their job. This is where "Knowledge is power" means "you only get knowledge if you have power and that power remains with management." That should go on the tombstone of the Roman Empire. But there is another kind of "knowledge is power". In a smaller business environment where things are exciting and fast paced and everyone is working together towards a common highly visible goal. In this case "knowledge is power" generally means, "the more people who have the knowledge the more powerful we are as an organization". This is getting us closer to actual leadership. Let's go back to the car analogy - if I have the knowledge of how the entire car works and how the different parts work together I am more likely to respond correctly when I start hydroplaning on a very wet road (turn in the direction the car is sliding in for those who do not know). I submit that this kind of "knowledge is power" is a key component to leadership. It goes a long way in building trust and exhibiting honesty to the workers/employees. But what knowledge are we really talking about?

Perhaps most importantly is this – everyone can be a leader and everyone is a leader at something. The retail sales associate leads a customer to the purchase. The waiter leads the support staff to take care of the customer. The parent leads the child in so many ways, and the child leads the parent through the world with a new sense of wonder and excitement. Every person you encounter, or manage, or deal with has these responsibilities in some form or another. By understanding each other and being sensitive to that very fact can make it that much easier to inspire each other on a daily basis.

So far you might get the idea that sharing your hobbies, showing your appreciation, and telling people what is going on are all you have to do to become a great leader, but of course there is more. Putting those elements together is actually how you get on the road to inspire people. Sharing a vision, a mission, a goal with other people is actual leadership. Letting them know why it is important to you is actual leadership. Letting them know how they fit into the grand scheme of things is actual leadership. Letting them know that you will work with them and that you are relying on them to work WITH you to solve problems and overcome hurdles is actual leadership. All of these things help your workers/employees understand why it is important for them to buy into the vision, to embrace the mission, to drive towards the goal. This is what inspires them to follow the leader. This is who you can be and not only will your organization be stronger for it, but your life will be richer for it as well.

Next? Actual Leadership Part II "What can I do with Actual Leadership?"

The Laws of the Universe and I

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog (a few weeks) but I finally have something to write about, so here we are. Actually I have a few things to write about so this may go off on a tangent or two, but I think they'll all tie in to the title above.

First off the main law of the universe that I believe I am totally dialed into is Murphy's Law. I know we all feel that way from time to time, but I can almost predict when Murphy will ring my bell. Case in point; after leaving Cisco Systems after just over 10 years of service I was given 90 days to sell any outstanding vested and unexercised stock options. After spending the last two and a half months watching it rise and fall on a daily basis (never rising more than 2 days in a row) I decided to finally sell it all and be done with it. Since my sale (after which it dropped one cent at the end of the trading day (my impact?) it has risen for 2 additional days nearly a whole dollar (2 day gain). Considering how many shares I sold it would have been a significant difference. Of course I anticipated that this would happen, but I also knew that it could only happen if I sold my shares. Had I not sold it would not have continued to rise, I am convinced of that.

Other grand examples of Murphy and me working together? When doing some kind, any kind of household fix the job will go well until the last screw which will either be frozen, or break, or the brute force necessary to get it to do what I want and need it to do – will ultimately break something else. Another one. If there is an unattended glass of liquid near me, it will spill. No, I am not clumsy and often times I will not spill it. Through the cosmic powers of Murphy a series of events will be strung together to spill the glass. This is especially true if there is a check for a large sum made out to me within range of the said glass of liquid. More? If I go to the store looking for something particular, this could be jeans in my size or large marshmallows, or a spice…the store will be out of that thing and just that thing. My favorite of course is when I am really looking forward to an activity or event and then just on the eve of – something happens to ruin it, or reschedule it, or cancel it. Best example of that one –I set up an elaborate plan to take my wife to Vegas a few years ago to go see Celine Dion and the night before we left I got an email saying that she had bronchitis and was canceling the show. Of course this impacted a lot of other people too (I guess).

So how does one work with such an albatross? You expect it, you anticipate Murphy's move and counter with either quiet and contemplative reflection or you stack the deck as much in your own favor as possible. Patiently find the stubborn screw and deal with that first, resign yourself to going to two different stores, make sure you have alternative plans to use other spices or find other events to attend.

Actually, the key word in all of this is actually 'patience' chances are that when one rushes anything it screws it up. There are exceptions, like getting your children out of the house and into the car. That is simple enough to not have too adverse an impact if something goes wrong, but if you are really rushing you will forget something. (Remember the film Home Alone? No, we have not yet forgotten one of our kids anywhere…yet.)

Okay, so that's Murphy for you. I would love to hear from others who have grand stories of working with this particular Law of the universe. The next one is Karma.

As many people who know me can attest I have my opinions about things and many of those are strong opinions. I like to think that I have a good sense of knowing what I know and admitting to what I don't know. And most of all I like to think that I am not so zealous in my opinions and feelings about things that I can't change my mind about something. In fact I think I am one of the few people I know who is open-minded enough to admit when he's come into information or been convinced by a coherent argument to change his mind. I find very few people do that. Don't misunderstand though, I don't characterize myself as a flip-flopper, just someone who can hear an argument, process it and weigh it with being blinded by my own previously held position. I do stand my ground on the things that I know that I know. How does this speak to Karma?

Karma is, for all intents and purposes to the lay-person is the belief that "what goes around comes around" but you knew that. What I think we all want to expect is that the one good turn we do for others will come back in the same way to us. This is in fact mostly a fallacy (in my humble opinion) as it would depend on people and human behavior having some equivalency among different people. In tight knit communities built on these principles it works (Amish people all pitch in to build each other's barns – it must be true cause I saw it in a movie). But in larger communities where we are connected to each other by fewer and fewer things, it is not that easy.

Karma is also the best 21st century way of calling on what is believe to be "The Golden Rule" "Do unto others, etc. "However, and this is one of my favorite parts of religious philosophy, it was actually Hillel, a Rabbi who was around maybe about the same time as Jesus, who said, "do NOT do unto others, as you would NOT want done unto you." I have a really good friend who used to fix my car every time it broke down (when I was not driving newer cars) No matter where or when I broke down Scott would come to the rescue. I could never legitimately return the same favor to Scott since I do not know jack about cars. In other words I cannot "do unto him" as I need "done unto me". However, I can treat him as a friend and find another way to help him so that I can repay his kindness and generosity. I have given him job advice, I have set him up with women, I have taken him to dinner, etc. It is in these ways that I have the skills and abilities to give back to Scott.

What I am driving at here I guess is a variation on "pay it forward". Call it "reimburse it forward" and it'll work like this:

Think of the people that have helped you in the past, the people that have been there for you, fixed things for you, done things for you, and figure out a way to give them something back using your skills and abilities, expertise, and generosity.

At the same time – think of a way that you might help someone out using your specific skills and abilities, expertise, and generosity.

Finally – forget all about the altruism of the act, that's nice, but see if you can let the person or people you are helping know why you are doing it and what you expect of them.*

*We seem to think that either we can't have expectations of other people or that it is rude or inappropriate to let people know that there is something expected of them. You would not neglect that duty when teaching a child so don't neglect it when dealing with your friends and neighbors. Let them know that you have expectations of them because they are allowed to have expectations of you and to let you know what they are. (I know my neighbor expects me to put plants in the dirt in front of my house now that he's fixed my sprinklers for me – he didn't say it, but I know it. If he had said it then I would know that I can go to him for something else at some point, that it is okay to have expectations of other people – and that is my own personal Law of the Universe.

Another favorite philosophy of mine, and I will end this blog entry with this, is the idea that "if you save one life it is as if you have saved the universe". What that means, for the uninitiated, is that each person lives in their own reality, has their own universe. If you can have a positive impact on them then you have impacted their reality, their entire sphere of influence, essentially their entire universe. And it is not that hard to do.

The Competition for Talent Continues in an Allegedly Down Economy

I'm not saying that I am in denial that we are in a down economy, we are - no doubt about it. But the magnitude of the down-ness is exacerbated by the amount of people who use it as an excuse of some kind. But that's not really my point....yet.

I want to start with the way jobs are posted these days. The roles are posted looking for the perfect person to fill the role, some one whose resume reads like the job description, from the right companies and schools to back it up. That's great. I can't deny that a company should be looking for perfection...but it is not out there.

What is out there are people with talent. People who really want to work, prove themselves, and take the next step along their career path. If the company is looking for some one who has the same exact job somewhere else then what is to entice that person to become a candidate? New commute? Now office? More money? Not that these things may not be attractive to some candidates, but the companies hiring those folks will potentially be making a mistake.

The primary reason why people LOOK to make a change is management. However, their comfort level, tenure, etc. in their current environment will make then stick it out unless there is a significant pot of gold or greener grass to go to. Those who make the change for that reason often find the same issues with management and upon close inspection see that the grass is not as green as they thought (perhaps it is a sprinkler problem).

The primary reason people MAKE career changes is because they are offered the opportunity to grow. Their responsibility increases, the money is good, and they have new work to sink their teeth into that challenges them in new ways. These are the people companies want. These are the people whose resumes read as "so close" but not quite the perfect match to the job description.

These are the people that it takes a REAL recruiter to find. there are a lot of recruiters who work on the "match and attach" principle. They look for the match, attach it to the requisition and send it to the manager. Kind of like processing a sandwich order at a deli. If you want a sandwich with mayo lettuce and tomatoes but no pickles, we'll make your sandwich match your order. Or like picking the options on a new car. To sunroof or not to sunroof? We can easily do this with inanimate objects or food, but it is ultimately less effective with people.

The sandwich and the car will never be anything more than the sandwich or the car. In fact, once you eat the sandwich it is gone (short term satisfaction) and in a couple years the new car is obsolete (lack of long-term sustainability).

So, as the recruiter or hiring manager what do you really want to look for? You want to see demonstrated growth, you want to see that the candidate knows how to do a variety of things, that they have adapted over time, hit the ground running is some areas, evolved to meet the challenges in others. You want to find out what they think of the job you have posted, do they have a vision for success in the role and what is it. And here's the really really interesting part. That vision doesn't have to be what the recruiter or even the hiring manager is looking for. It just has to be a good vision. Because that means the candidate has vision. And if they show their adaptability, flexibility and evolution on their resume and through an interview, they'll be able to adapt, flex, and evolve to the manager's or company's vision.

In many companies today we need the people who can do this. We need tuna sandwiches that can become roast beef. We need to be buying a car that can become a truck down the road. We need candidates that meet a job description that won't be doing that same job in a year or two.

Ultimately the question does come down to what a recruiter really does for a company. A "match and attacher" is merely performing a service. But a recruiter can and should be so much more for a company. This is a person who sells the entire company to some one. Sales sells products, staffing sells the company, the culture, the vision, the future. It is an awesome responsibility that few executives really understand and often take for granted.

So a recruiter who keeps this in mind gets their hands into a lot of other very important areas for the company growth and success over the long term. If the recruiters are portraying a positive and exciting culture and that's the first view candidates have of the inside, then the recruiters are influencing the culture. If the recruiters follow the business effectively then they can go beyond "match and attach" and really help the manager's understand what they need and how the presented candidates will make it happen. In this way they truly are helping to grow the company in an incredibly value added way.

On another angle, many recruiters want to present candidates to the hiring manager that they hope the manager will just say, "OK, bring him/her in - they'll start on Monday". But that never happens. What needs to happen sometimes is the same hard-sell job to the manager that the candidate did to the recruiter. Show them why and how the candidate will do more than the job description, why the skills and environment they came from will help move the company in the right direction. Recruit the manager into taking the candidate.

I can't remember who I heard it from but I heard once that a business, "needs to treat it's vendors as it wants to be treated when it is a vendor." In this current economy we need to help hiring managers to understand that they need to give candidates the same consideration they want when they are candidates. And in this economy, that could be sooner than they think.

So I called the Down Economy "alleged" for a reason. It is a down economy, no question, but it is really opening up a lot more opportunities for people to get more creative, expand their horizons and quite frankly have an easier time shopping (for those who can still afford to). Stores are less crowded, parking at the mall is easier, and every restaurant seems to have a $5 deal of some kind (especially the sandwich places).

In order to get out of this funk we're all in, more people have to get to work - we know that's the answer. So to do that I am hopeful that we can find more ways to hire people for who they are and what they can do than exclude them for not being a perfect match.

Raise me up - Don't bring me down!

I had a great meeting with a good friend today. We both agreed that we are really really good idea men - we just need limitless bucket of cash and a staff to make the world a better place. And we're gonna try to figure out how to do it without the cash, but the staff would be very helpful.

We both used to be in the head-hunting business. that's a business where one day you are the person improving some one else's life with a great opportunity and the next you are just trying to talk them into doing what you want them to do so you can get a pay-out. At times it felt really good and other times it felt.....less than good.

Ultimately though we saw ourselves on par with the likes of Jerry McGuire. We were Talent Managers for free-agent engineers. We would befriend-sell-collect and move on to the next one. We often dreamed that the job was more important than it was and that we were making a bigger difference than we were. I guess on some level we were like the kid on the beach who is throwing sea stars back in the ocean. There may be too many sea stars to save them all and have an impact on the total population, but to the one he throws back it makes all the difference in the world. I guess that's what we did.

Well, my friend wants to take that to the next level, he wants us all to be throwing sea stars back in the ocean, making a difference one life at a time if that's what it takes. And he's going about it in a great way. He wants to, heck, he has introduced a new phrase into our lexicon for us to use as often as possible. I challenge you to use this whenever and wherever you can. The phrase is "Possibility Advocate". Let that sing in for a sec.

Okay, don't think of it as just a catch phrase, or a definition, but think in terms of the opposite of a Devil's Advocate. Think of it as a way of getting people to expand their horizon's from being a nay-sayer or a skeptic to one who is a yay-sayer or a ...whatever the opposite of skeptic is.

He tells a great story about how we are born, how the odds of us coming into being who we are are a one in millions chance. Without being crude (and to avoid getting another blog post pulled for content) he talks about how the one "seed" among millions elbows it's way to the front of the pack, swimming harder and faster than all the other to make to the egg for fertilization. We can all identify and picture that image......and then he spins it on its head in a way that made me jealous that I hadn't though of it first.

What if, he tells me, what if it wasn't about elbowing to the front of the pack. What if the pack knew that that particular seed had the best chance of success, what if the pack knew that that seed needed to fertilize that egg to insure a good healthy outcome. What if the pack was....pushing? What if it was supporting? What if it knew the possibilities and was advocating the best one? What if?

So my friend, Virgil Robinson, founder of http://www.possibilityadvocate.com/ would like you to use the phrase and adopt the idea that you can be a "Possibility Advocate" in your daily life. Whether it is encouraging a kid to tie their shoes or raise their hand in class, or to solicit more brainstorming in a conference room, or to give anyone an encouraging word so that they can see and have more possibilities to chose from, be the yay-sayer, be the "Possibility Advocate".

Virgil wants you to use it and I count myself as lucky to be one of the first few among what will hopefully be millions pushing him toward success.

Baseball Caps

This is a repost. I edited it recently, so if you are getting a notification about this being a new post, it isn't ...you have read it before.

Baseball caps.

I recently went shopping with my wife to update the wardrobe. Without going into details about my apparently uncreative fashion choices (she would say that what I have been wearing does not actually qualify as fashion) I got some new clothes. While picking out these new clothes together she also picked out for me a new baseball cap. I was already wearing one. She claimed that the one she had picked out was better because it goes with all the clothes we picked out.

Wait a minute....it GOES WITH stuff? Is that even the purpose or intent of a baseball cap? On a woman maybe (if she is not within 10 miles of a sporting event) but on a man? In what universe is what a baseball cap "goes with" a factor?

The cap gets it's name from a game, 'baseball', that is the very LAST stop on the bad fashion train (Astros uniforms 1975-1979). Well OK, generally all sports uniforms in general may share that stop.

So, I put it out there on a social networking site. Is this cap a utility or an accessory and many responded. Most women agree that it is a man's prerogative to wear whatever he want on his head and that it does not HAVE to go with anything. But for a woman it is never more than an accessory. Most, but not all, men who responded tend to agree with the utilitarian perspective, "it covers your head and keeps the sun out of your eyes." AS IS ITS ONLY INTENT.

However, now that we are finding these caps in the men's fashions department they are apparently evolving from utility to accessory. This is a load of crap.

The wife's complaint was that the hat I was wearing (purchased in a head covering emergency in a t-shirt shop in a touristy area of San Francisco only a few months ago), was now all sweat stained inside and gross. In other words - perfect. It was shapely enough to still be recognized for what it is, but grimy enough to hold my keys, wallet, phone, change etc when I take it off at the gym. Truly utilitarian and it had no John Deer logo on it.

Ultimately I relented and got the new, more fashionable hat to make her happy (oh her "happiness" is another blog entry or 1000 altogether).

Bottom line, a new more fashionable hat will be treated the same as the old one, it just won't clash with my shirt anymore.

The very latest in stupidity

I debated leaving a typo in the title, cause that's what it is all about. The pinnacle of stupidity in this modern age is a lack of proof-reading. I am an extremely fast "hunt and pecker" on the keyboard and I am also too impatient to read every single word I have written after I go off on a rant much like this one. Many of you have gotten from me in an email or IM the word 'teh' when I meant to type 'the' or 'god' for 'good'. Some one recently asked me via IM how I was and I replied, "I am god"(for the sake of clarification, I am not god).

My latest typo not caught due to my impatience and the lack of my spell-check's mind reading capability came in a cover letter I typed and sent a few days ago. I went back into it this morning to massage it for yet another prospective employer and fell off my own chair laughing. Not hearing from the company now made so much sense.

The company is Google. Known for only being interested in people with a GPA of 5.0 or better out of one of maybe 5 or 10 schools in the universe (I do not meet both of those qualifications). I had heard that they were loosening up and that their fresh out of college cadre of employees are willing to look beyond the academics and open their minds up to the idea that not everyone can afford to go to Stanford or MIT no matter how smart they are. And that right-brainers can be just as intelligent as left-brainers and it still won't be evidenced in their academic record. I can agree that the worst thing that ever happened to championing the cause of non-academic achievement was the election and subsequent presidency of George W Bush, but he is just one guy - don't lump us all in with him please.

So understanding that my resume and cover letter might pass through the hands of one of these academic elitists I had to make sure it was letter perfect. But my own eyes deceived me and as I said mind-reader check was disabled and in my letter I said....

get ready for it....

"I have been huge fan and user of goggle products..."

I have decided to resend the cover letter......to the Speedo company.

Narrowing down the book idea

So while I am the expert at very few things but have a lot of opinions on other things I am limited in what I could fill a book about. I have a few ideas for some novels but I am no James Patterson (who must write in his sleep) leaving me to find something that I know a lot about, but that one does not necessarily have to have a degree in. the thing is that if I can come up with something that qualifies I am sure there are many others who can do the same. The trick is to come up with some level of authority or at least credibility on the topic I chose. And of course it has to be something that the Daily Show staff would find interesting enough to invite me on as a guest.

So here is the current idea that is gestating in my brain. "Why are we Stupid?"

First off, if you have not figured it out, I do believe I have some authority and credibility on this subject. I am not being self-deprecating here - let me explain.

I will argue that on the whole we are not actually stupid, but we often do stupid things. Whether it is as children, parents, customers, service providers, politicians, doctors, lawyers, student, teachers, and yes even rocket scientists - we all do stupid things. Things we do not think through, choice we make for short term gain, or choices we do not make in the hopes of long term gain.

It seems to me that with the multiple crises the world has gotten itself into these days (financial, housing, auto-industry, etc.) that there is no shortage of people doing stupid things. what is most interesting about those situations is the collective stupidity. But there is also the more common individual stupidity that we often get to see highlighted by politicians and celebrities. Whether is a gallivanting Governor or poorly parenting pop-star we all get to gape and judge at these ridiculous antics that stem from none other than stupid decisions.

And of course, the most common and least talked about is our own individual stupidity. We are more likely to talk about our successes from good decision making than our failures from stupid decisions we have made. But we all do them. We try to make the left turn before the on-coming car gets to close, we insult the waiter before our soup is served, we eat the cake even though we are trying to lose weight, we buy magazines from college kids that sell them door to door, we decide that "just this once" it'll be okay to go without the proper protection (not just that!).

We follow our friends, we under or over research an issue, we make assumptions about things we know nothing about - these are all the seeds that more often than not lead us into stupidity.

So there are no truly stupid people (gross generalization I will flip-flop on later) just people who do really stupid things. And that is all of us. Granted - some more than others, but definitely all of us.

So that's the idea/book flap/elevator pitch. I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea and, if you have some classic personal stupid story and want to get in a book either in name or alias (to protect you) I would love to hear it. Like I said I have some classics - like the time I voted to play tackle football on the beach that led to 12 weeks in a cast. Lots of time spent lying on my back pondering my stupidity on that one.

More to come....

Open Fridge Night

Ok people, here's the deal. I've been out of the workplace long enough and many people are telling me "write dammit, write!" So I will cut my teeth here and if all goes well I'll start working on the book I always said I would write (but about what I will use this space to figure out).

The goal of said book will be to get something published about something unique enough to get me as a guest on the Daily Show before Jon Stewart retires. It's good to have goals. I will rant about current events, ideas for new products, movie plots, thoughts on things I have seen or done, politics, religion, business, food....I guess I will blog like millions of others and hope that my ramblings are found to be amusing to you the reader and therapeutic for me the narcissist. I will endeavor to spellcheck every post, but if I miss something it will be your job to figure it out.

Enough of an intro. Lets get started.

Not that you really care, but the other night I got pretty irritated over something really stupid and it spun me downward into a bad place. My nearly 7 year old son loves Sushi. Well, not really Sushi, he loves California Rolls. So after sitting at a place recently and paying to much for 6 pieces we decided to just make them at home. We shopped and got everything we needed and headed home.

Since it was late afternoon and I was dealing with a child not quite 7 years old, of all the ingredients we purchased patience was not one of them. Enter the big mistake of the entire process - Minute Rice. You cannot make California Rolls with Minute Rice. HOWEVER - if some one CAN figure out how to "glutenize" the MR for proper use in making California Rolls please clue me in cause I nearly re-decorated the new kitchen with MR.....and avocado.....and both real and fake crab.....and spears of cucumber.....and smelly seaweed wrap.

Suffice it to say that instead of Homemade Sushi Night it was Open Fridge Night (OFN). Open Fridge Night is when you open the fridge, take out all leftovers that do not yet have mold on them, put it all on the table with paper plates and plastic utensils and tell your family to eat what they can find and to make it a meal. Modern day foraging. At the end of this bountiful feast (depending on your home) you toss everything not eaten and build towards the following week's OFN.

So there you have it. This will be my occasional OFN for you to read and hopefully enjoy. You will get stories about me, my wife, my kids, and a bunch of other folks who will be code s as not to offend (not that I mind offending, but I don't want to deal with the fallout from it).

Have a great day.